The Weekend

The weekend has started.....it is now over half over and I still haven't done anything besides grocery shop.
Went to my parents for dinner last night and met my brother's new girl friend. She is really lovely!! and its nice to see him with someone, because we don't usually get to meet the others!!
Was healthy up until the the desert when I had a small slice of the Lemon Meringue Pie that I made....think that was about 4 points worth!!
Didn't take any home afterwards either - dad needs it more that me!!! With his high chrolesterol, probably not!!
I think BF had a nice time too!! My mother laughs at his funny stories - they are usually about me doing silly things!!
Then went home and went to bed earlier than usual. Cooked a nice bacon and egg breakfast for the BF. Strangly I was not keen on it myself. So I had muesli and fruit with low fat milk. Thats quite unlike me!!! Didn't want my coffee either!!!
Then went and looked at a property for sale in rural south auckland.
Its an old church - but didn't realise there was a cemetery right next to it. Might scare my kids if we lived there. So had a bit of a drive around and looked at some other properties - in reality both the BF and I have some loose ends to tie up before we commit to buying something together.....but its nice to look in the meantime. And yes he does know that I am extremely impractical - I can't garden or hammer or paint walls....but I'd probably learn fast if I had to. We would probably end up buying something rural and seeing as I work in South Auckland and my kids go to school there....there will be a few changes for them.....watch this space.
The deal is to have a huge garage for all the vehicles BF owns - and works on. And we need a bit of space to have that.
Am off to have a catch up with best friend tonight - girls only. I'm pretty limited in the $$$ department - aren't I always??!! I said no to the offer of $$ from BF - if we were going together he could pay, but don't expect him to if hes not coming!!
Will just have a main and some nice wine I think - only going to spend $50 and thats it!! No shopping for new clothes on the way - am doing some major belt tightening - in the finance department - as the credit card needs some serious work to bring it down. Bloody tempting but no I will be strong!!
Planning to join Weightwatchers on Tuesday night - will be bloody interesting/frightening to see what weight haxs gone up to - I might even predict 95kgs!! Better not be any higher than that!!

Busy few days......

Had a real busy weekend.....child free I might add!!! Had the boyfriends (now will be referred to as BF) birthday friday night. Ended up picking him up because he had been drinking with his mates and was way over the limit.

Met his friends in the process.....but felt funny being the only non-drunk one!! Was allowed to drive theV8 home......but kept getting told how to change gear.....thinks I drive okay for a chick.....remember this guy drives cars on a race track for fun!! Hes pretty good too - bless his heart. Will be very interesting once drag racing starts, considering I've never been before it will be very exciting.
A party was organised for saturday night at his place. So went and purchased large amounts of alcohol and food it. We had a nice day together and pottered around making salads etc. Started drinking about 5pm and had a few - lots of people turned up about 20 - alright for a spur of the moment. I ended up cooking the bbq and had lots of "help"from BFs mother!! Shes interesting!!. Made sure I cooked my own steak welldone - the way I like it!! Didn't eat too much rubbish - pretty pleased really that i made the salads etc - if you're the cook then you can control what goes in the food!!
Tried to be polite and talk to everyone too - considering I only knew BF, I didn't do too badly!!
Sunday was a write off - slept in, cleaned up then went back to my place for a sleep in my own bed.
Had a professional development coarse for work for Mon and Tues - really a big gossip and catch up session. But we did learn lots!! Planning meeting today and a stress workshop tomorrow - Friday to myself which will be nice.
Thinking about joining weightwatchers next tues night.......not long till xmas so need a goal to work for....think both myself and BF need to eat better - hes a lot bigger that me though, but will eat what I cook. Which means I can disguise healthy food for him!! I must admit I felt a bit hurt when I found out his mates' nickname for him was Fatboy!! Men are soo blunt sometimes!!!But apparently it doesn't bother him. Just better not call me Mrs Fatboy or they'll be in trouble!!

Crap Eating

Have been eating too much rubbish - think its because I've been at home not doing anything.
Have had only one outing this week - rest of the time we've been to the park everyday, and my daughter has played with the neighbours child who is the same age - 7.

Have had two good walks - tues night, wednesday morning. Am going to head off with the kids shortly down to the park. Heaps of housework will count as physical activity too!!

While I was tidying up some drawers, I found my first weightwatchers food journal from 2004 when I was 120 kgs. It was interesting to see that I walking at least an hour everyday - I had a double mountain buggy and just used to put both kids into it and off we'd go. I was still with their dad then and he would NEVER come walking with us or look after the kids so I could go by myself. And he was the one who used to give me a hard time about my weight!!!

I lost 2.1kgs in my first week, and averaged about 1 kilo to 500 grams a week after that. I ate a lot of bread - used to have toast for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch and pasta for tea. I had the time to make things from scratch because I wasn't working fulltime - was only doing about 2 days a week if that.

In the June of 2004 I was down to about 110kgs it had been a bloody hard struggle to get that weight off. Then I found out my partner was having an affair.....which was hardly surprising given how bad our relationship was!!

He left at the end of June and I lost about 8 kilos in a month through stress. I walked everyday still and when the kids were with their dad, I used to go for big 10km walks.


Whats changed in the last 3 years...... I've kept off most of the weight I've lost, but its a real struggle for me. My eating is not the greatest and I've got an all or nothing attitude.

I have very little spare time now that I am working full time and only have limited time when the kids aren't here. My lunch breaks are only 1/2 an hour, so no time to walk during then.

Am thinking about having youngest child in push chair and oldest on her bike so that we can take off for a walk when I pick them up after work.

The night they go to their dad, I can go after I drop them off.

I just need to focus and remember I've done this before and just need to change my bad habits that I've slipped into. I don't shop once a week either and never menu plan like I used to which is what helped me in the beginning a great deal. One day at a time......

Baby???!!!

Thought I would share what happened this morning cos I feel like shit now . Did my hair and makeup nicely for a change - and wore my stretchy size 12 MAX jeans that are faded quite a bit. Also wore pinky coloured top from Farmers and a black light weight hoody over the top. Thought I looked pretty stylie!!!

Ran into another parent whenI dropped my son off at daycare this morning. She was quite friendly and said hi, and started looking around and said "wheres your baby....what did you end up having?" Seems she had me confused with a staff member who had just given birth a few weeks ago!! I said you must mean so and so - I haven't been pregnant in 4 1/2 years - I've just got a spare tyre!! Not only did she embarrass me, but she also said it in front of 3 other staff members - they didn't know where to look!! So I tried to act like I didn't care and just laughed it off......
But it hurts and its not the first time my wobbly tummy has been confused for a pregnant tummy or a just given birth tummy!!!
Last year I was in a pub with a girlfriend and thought I looked nice, ran into a guy she knew who was quite pissed. Anyway he asked me why my husband let me out in my condition?? Meaning why was I out when I was pregnant. So I said I wasn't pregnant, just fat!! He threw his glass up in the air and left very quickly!! Have run into this guy a few times and hes apologised and now we are kind of on friendly terms....but you know I just dont want to look pregnant!!
Had a big talk to my best friend and she reckons its because I've got slim legs and big boobs and hardly any waist - I just go straight up and down!!!
We decided to remedy the situation by going underwear shopping today after my kids get picked up!!! Need some very expensive stomach holder-inner undies for sure!!! Or just plastic surgery!!!!

Sunshine and Rain

Got about 3 loads of washing on the line - lots of lovely sunshine here in Auckland.

Took the kids out to new boyfriends place. He had a mate there too, with his little girl so all the kids played happily together. The adults sat and talked in the sunshine which was lovely. Kids had turns on the little tractor lawn mower and they were even allowed to drive it.

I managed to stay away from the chips and biscuits that were being handed around. Then the kids decided they wanted ice creams, so we walked up the road. Got three ice creams and all I had was a lick - so unlike me!!

I'm a bit funny about eating in front of men - especially ones I want to impress!!!!

Then it was time to head off home - lots of grey clouds overhead.

But wouldn't you know it - it began to pour with rain - and we got home 15 minutes later to find all the washing totally drenched. So just left it there.

Cooked a roast chicken for tea - put it in a roasting bag, did all the veges in the pan too - with just a wee bit of olive oil so nice and crunchy but not fatty!! Boyfriend came for dinner - kids a bit better with him now that they are getting more used to him.

Encouraged kids to eat all their tea - we just had kiwifruit for dessert with a little bit of low fat ice cream. An early night - I was in bed by 9.00 - by myself I might add!!!

First day of holidays tomorrow, so we will see what weather is like.....

First Post

Well, time to start my own blog'. Since I've been on my weight loss journey I've read some really great blogs and they've all inspired me in one way or another.
I'm not following any particular plan at the moment!!! Weightwatchers hasn't really been a long term thing for me over the past 18 months. Although it did work for me to loss all the weight in the beginning, so I won't knock the programme completely!!

My eating is really out of control at them moment. Several reasons why....

• Began full time teaching again in April this year - love it but its really stressful.
• Began a new relationship in June this year ..... love him to bits, but I find I'm not putting any time into my exercise or proper eating.
• Financial stress - just not enough money on a single income to pay all the bills - lucky my parents are able to help me out occassionally.
• My 4 year old son has special needs - nothing that has been diagnosed - just a major developmental delay. He has only just begun talking and calling me Mummy after all this time.
• And last but not least the infamous ex - father of my two children. He has the children every second weekend and every Tuesday night. There has been a lot of water under the bridge!! Our communication is fairly non-existant. Hes particularly grumpy with me at the moment because of the new boyfriend!!

Fortunately I've got two weeks holiday - the last week is taken up with professional development for 3 1/2 days - bummer. But some time off is better than no time at all. At least I get to spend time with the kids and catch up with some friends.

Today's plan is washing and shopping for veges and fruit. May go over to the boyfriends house with the kids....they have only met him three times. He doesn't stay the night when the kids are here - my choice!! Hes not particularly happy with it, but hes still hung around so I must not be all bad!!

Oh and my eating and exercise........work in progress.....hope to get out for a walk today - one child in the pushchair and the other on her bike!! Food - have had a V this morning - sugar free and half a bagel with lite cream chees and strawberry jam, and 4 crackers and cheese. Strange combination I know. And on that note here ends the first post may update later.