Crap Eating

Have been eating too much rubbish - think its because I've been at home not doing anything.
Have had only one outing this week - rest of the time we've been to the park everyday, and my daughter has played with the neighbours child who is the same age - 7.

Have had two good walks - tues night, wednesday morning. Am going to head off with the kids shortly down to the park. Heaps of housework will count as physical activity too!!

While I was tidying up some drawers, I found my first weightwatchers food journal from 2004 when I was 120 kgs. It was interesting to see that I walking at least an hour everyday - I had a double mountain buggy and just used to put both kids into it and off we'd go. I was still with their dad then and he would NEVER come walking with us or look after the kids so I could go by myself. And he was the one who used to give me a hard time about my weight!!!

I lost 2.1kgs in my first week, and averaged about 1 kilo to 500 grams a week after that. I ate a lot of bread - used to have toast for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch and pasta for tea. I had the time to make things from scratch because I wasn't working fulltime - was only doing about 2 days a week if that.

In the June of 2004 I was down to about 110kgs it had been a bloody hard struggle to get that weight off. Then I found out my partner was having an affair.....which was hardly surprising given how bad our relationship was!!

He left at the end of June and I lost about 8 kilos in a month through stress. I walked everyday still and when the kids were with their dad, I used to go for big 10km walks.


Whats changed in the last 3 years...... I've kept off most of the weight I've lost, but its a real struggle for me. My eating is not the greatest and I've got an all or nothing attitude.

I have very little spare time now that I am working full time and only have limited time when the kids aren't here. My lunch breaks are only 1/2 an hour, so no time to walk during then.

Am thinking about having youngest child in push chair and oldest on her bike so that we can take off for a walk when I pick them up after work.

The night they go to their dad, I can go after I drop them off.

I just need to focus and remember I've done this before and just need to change my bad habits that I've slipped into. I don't shop once a week either and never menu plan like I used to which is what helped me in the beginning a great deal. One day at a time......

Baby???!!!

Thought I would share what happened this morning cos I feel like shit now . Did my hair and makeup nicely for a change - and wore my stretchy size 12 MAX jeans that are faded quite a bit. Also wore pinky coloured top from Farmers and a black light weight hoody over the top. Thought I looked pretty stylie!!!

Ran into another parent whenI dropped my son off at daycare this morning. She was quite friendly and said hi, and started looking around and said "wheres your baby....what did you end up having?" Seems she had me confused with a staff member who had just given birth a few weeks ago!! I said you must mean so and so - I haven't been pregnant in 4 1/2 years - I've just got a spare tyre!! Not only did she embarrass me, but she also said it in front of 3 other staff members - they didn't know where to look!! So I tried to act like I didn't care and just laughed it off......
But it hurts and its not the first time my wobbly tummy has been confused for a pregnant tummy or a just given birth tummy!!!
Last year I was in a pub with a girlfriend and thought I looked nice, ran into a guy she knew who was quite pissed. Anyway he asked me why my husband let me out in my condition?? Meaning why was I out when I was pregnant. So I said I wasn't pregnant, just fat!! He threw his glass up in the air and left very quickly!! Have run into this guy a few times and hes apologised and now we are kind of on friendly terms....but you know I just dont want to look pregnant!!
Had a big talk to my best friend and she reckons its because I've got slim legs and big boobs and hardly any waist - I just go straight up and down!!!
We decided to remedy the situation by going underwear shopping today after my kids get picked up!!! Need some very expensive stomach holder-inner undies for sure!!! Or just plastic surgery!!!!

Sunshine and Rain

Got about 3 loads of washing on the line - lots of lovely sunshine here in Auckland.

Took the kids out to new boyfriends place. He had a mate there too, with his little girl so all the kids played happily together. The adults sat and talked in the sunshine which was lovely. Kids had turns on the little tractor lawn mower and they were even allowed to drive it.

I managed to stay away from the chips and biscuits that were being handed around. Then the kids decided they wanted ice creams, so we walked up the road. Got three ice creams and all I had was a lick - so unlike me!!

I'm a bit funny about eating in front of men - especially ones I want to impress!!!!

Then it was time to head off home - lots of grey clouds overhead.

But wouldn't you know it - it began to pour with rain - and we got home 15 minutes later to find all the washing totally drenched. So just left it there.

Cooked a roast chicken for tea - put it in a roasting bag, did all the veges in the pan too - with just a wee bit of olive oil so nice and crunchy but not fatty!! Boyfriend came for dinner - kids a bit better with him now that they are getting more used to him.

Encouraged kids to eat all their tea - we just had kiwifruit for dessert with a little bit of low fat ice cream. An early night - I was in bed by 9.00 - by myself I might add!!!

First day of holidays tomorrow, so we will see what weather is like.....

First Post

Well, time to start my own blog'. Since I've been on my weight loss journey I've read some really great blogs and they've all inspired me in one way or another.
I'm not following any particular plan at the moment!!! Weightwatchers hasn't really been a long term thing for me over the past 18 months. Although it did work for me to loss all the weight in the beginning, so I won't knock the programme completely!!

My eating is really out of control at them moment. Several reasons why....

• Began full time teaching again in April this year - love it but its really stressful.
• Began a new relationship in June this year ..... love him to bits, but I find I'm not putting any time into my exercise or proper eating.
• Financial stress - just not enough money on a single income to pay all the bills - lucky my parents are able to help me out occassionally.
• My 4 year old son has special needs - nothing that has been diagnosed - just a major developmental delay. He has only just begun talking and calling me Mummy after all this time.
• And last but not least the infamous ex - father of my two children. He has the children every second weekend and every Tuesday night. There has been a lot of water under the bridge!! Our communication is fairly non-existant. Hes particularly grumpy with me at the moment because of the new boyfriend!!

Fortunately I've got two weeks holiday - the last week is taken up with professional development for 3 1/2 days - bummer. But some time off is better than no time at all. At least I get to spend time with the kids and catch up with some friends.

Today's plan is washing and shopping for veges and fruit. May go over to the boyfriends house with the kids....they have only met him three times. He doesn't stay the night when the kids are here - my choice!! Hes not particularly happy with it, but hes still hung around so I must not be all bad!!

Oh and my eating and exercise........work in progress.....hope to get out for a walk today - one child in the pushchair and the other on her bike!! Food - have had a V this morning - sugar free and half a bagel with lite cream chees and strawberry jam, and 4 crackers and cheese. Strange combination I know. And on that note here ends the first post may update later.